Jornaling my way to mental health

Journal entry date Friday, 1/27/2017

As I am learning the concept of blogging, I guess my main objective is to focus my mind, coordinate my hands and give myself something to do. Plus the advantages of learning something new while honing my writing skills.

I haven’t held actual employment for over a year now, not to say I haven’t been working. There are plenty of have to’s to get done, and plenty of want to’s to look forward to, but honestly I need to break into a new career path. In the mean time learning a new way to journal seems like a great way to re-prioritize a few things in my world.

Everyone thinks they would like to retire early and at first the freedom of not clocking in is intriguing, however, as time moves on and the everyday routine becomes relaxed it is easy to get into a rut. My rut includes an unmade bed, laundry that is waiting to be done, and of course dirty dishes in the sink.

Just because I have a list of household chores to be done doesn’t mean I’m not bored! I am, bored with the pretense that just any old job will do. That is like saying hamburger five time a week for dinner is exciting just because you have five different ways to prepare it, really? Although at this point financially any old job probably would do.

My mind wonders off to places and people of the past, what are they doing now, who are they hanging out with or not any longer. Things that where said and done, some good, some bad. I cant help but feel as if I need to get some of those old memories in writing before the lights dim my recollections. The people that are now carried on in my memories, not here with us any longer. The ones that took their final journey in life and passed over. Then out of no where a practical thought hits me in the face such as, “where are the dogs” and “when was the last time they went out for a potty break”.

Not to say that retirement doesn’t have it perks, but unemployment comes with a downside. More than the financial crunch felt, the identity crunch is tricky. Many of us have a self identity attached to what we do for a living. The career path we chose or became successful with gives us away to present ourselves to the outside world. The positive reinforcement of a weekly paycheck keeps us identifying with others from what we do for a living rather than who we are as an individual not based on the services we provide.

I really need to check on those dogs, will check back later…..

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